Things Better Left Unsaid

You know, if you're late to work you're better off lying about the reason for it. I mean, you don't want to tell your boss the real reason so a traffic accident is always good, but maybe too predictable. You can say there was construction, but if they know the route you come from that's a bad choice as well. Worse off though, this excuse:

Boss: Hey, I noticed you clocked in 10 minutes late, you want to tell me the REAL reason you were late?
Employee: Well, I was flipping through the channels on the television this morning and I hit the Spanish channel, you know Telemundo, and they've got this super hot weathergirl with a big stormfront, if you know what I'm saying. Anyway, I got all hot and bothered and...well...basically, I'm late because I was watching porn.
Boss:...

Yeah, that's a bad decision. You're better off telling them your car got towed and you had to take the bus in. That is of course, provided they can't see your car or don't know what you drive.

By the way, this was inspired a bit by a local TV personality who was told by an executive that the reason the morning news has such good looking weathergirl's (meteorologist title be damned) is so that men could "touch" themselves in the morning while watching the news. I'm inclined to believe this as the level of hotness on the morning news weathergirl's is disproportionate to that of the evening news, when it's mostly a male dominated field. Don't believe me? See for yourself.