So, there was a discussion about random stuff on the DreamStation.cc forums and we got to mentioning the greatest chocolate candy known to mankind, the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. I claim it to be God's gift to mankind, which it is undoubtedly. Anyway, my real beef came when I got to thinking about the "King Size" packaging of said, confectionary delights. If you think about the King Size Snickers, it's a candy bar enlarged to epic proportions, but the King Size variety of the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup is nothing more than four individual cups. This is a travesty of justice and should be considered nothing more, and nothing less than false advertising. Sure, they make a "Big Cup" or whatever, but that's not the same and how can it be larger than the King Size version if it's only a "Big Cup". I'm really upset now, I'm working myself into a frenzy here, but I feel like this is falling on deaf ears. By the way, I was at the store recently and I noticed the "King Size" version of Almond Joy was just an extra bar inside a new packaging. Now, I could give a rats ass about Almond Joy because I think coconut sucks butt, so if someone wants to complain about that they can do it on their own blog and on their own time. This is about the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup and their blatant disregard for the consumer, but mostly me because I wanted to write something for my peeps (peeps, being a slang term for people, not that disgusting Peeps marshmallow candy that they dust off every year for Easter, it's the equivalent of Candy Corn, but that's a rant for another day) who read this blog, all one of you. You know who you are. In short maybe I'll begin a petition for them to change the name, maybe I won't, I don't know, whatever. If you feel the need to start one, though, I'll consider signing it that's for sure...somewhat.
Edit: I've created the size ratio chart for you to read, so that you can then decide the scales of largeness. This way we avoid any confusion from further occurring and mislabeling things and misjudging sizes.
The Internet's Official Guide to Real World Sizing
Teeny - The smallest size anything can possibly be without the assistance of a microscope.
Tiny - A step larger than teeny, but still pretty small. Generally reserved for describing appetites, bra sizes (or rather what's inside the bras), babies and male body parts according to ex-girlfriends.
Miniature - This one is usually used for small breeds of dogs or toddlers who look exactly like their parents. Also, used for describing peanut butter cups.
Petite - One step larger than miniature, this is usually what big chicks use to describe their average sized friends. It's also used for describing certain vegetables.
Small - Generally used by larger people, smal is a relative term, but in most scenarios it just means that you're smaller than the fat guy next to you. Usually reserved for fast food; as in an order of french fries; Diet Pepsi; pizza; bucket of chicken; etc.
Average - Usually reserved for dating advertisements to describe build, height, weight, looks, etc. If you need to resort to calling yourself average, you may as well come out and say you look like someone's hairy ass minus the assy smell, but with more pimples.
Big - This is a step above average. If you're big, it means you've got some weight to lose or you're a linebacker in the NFL, but since the chances of you being a pro ball player are slim to none, you just need to lose a few lb's. Generally used when discussing your girlfriends friend, the one that keeps bending over in front of you giving you the show you'd rather be getting from the Petite (see above) friend instead.
Large - Again, a relative term. Usually used to described appetites, someone named Marge, any food items from Carls' Jr., the pizza you generally order with everything on it or your old Algebra teacher back in high school. Also, used to describe, though, very vaguely, bra size and the size of a guys package until he becomes the ex-boyfriend at which point out of spite, he becomes tiny (see above). Also, used to describe the size of my arms.
King Size - Used to describe something you might find at Burger King or the size of a Snickers bar, but incorrectly used in the case of the Peanut Butter Cup. Also, used to describe the size of an actual King.
Massive -This is a tough one, but you'll know it when you see it. Massive refers to something that is larger than large, but not quite Ginormous (see below). You'd usually call someone or something massive if requires a forklift/or a barge to be maneuvered from one place to the next. In general, you wouldn't be able to wrap your arms around something that is massive. However, the folowing two cases can be exceptions. When used to refer to the size of my biceps, or a toddlers head when it's obviously too big for his or her body.
Ginormous - Bigger than big. In general this is held off from being used unless it's to describe something, um, really big? Like a whale swallowed by an elephant? Yeah, that sounds about right.
Gargantuan - Somewhere in between ginormous and planetoid (see below). I've got nothing, I'm running out of material fast. Quick someone help me out!
Planetoid - This one is obvious, something is planetoid when it can block out the sun. This is usually held off unless describing someone's ego. Usually mine. But planetoid can also be used to describe an actual planet, who knew?
/end rant
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