Guys and Straws

So, I've got this theory that works two-fold. It involves men and straws.

First off, you can't be a tough guy and keep that tough look while you're sucking down Diet Pepsi through a straw. It's nigh impossible, nay, it is impossible. Imagine the toughest looking guy you know from TV or movies whether that's Mr. T, Charles Bronson, Chuck Norris, or whoever. Now imagine them drinking a soda through a straw. That's pure goofiness, I tell you! No, the tough guy always pops the lid off and drinks straight from the mouth of the cup. Not only that, but when he's done he chews on the ice just to let you know who is the boss. That's manly.

Part two of the theory is that the absolute hunkiest dude you've ever seen looks like a complete dork sucking down a tasty beverage through a straw. I mean, really how cool can a guy look when he's trying to get that last bit of Fanta out of the cup and he's making that slurping sound. Let alone if he's drinking a thick milkshake and he's struggling? Face turning slightly blue, cheeks sunken in, eyes crossing from the suction. Oh, yeah David Beckham, Brad Pitt, and George Clooney would all look like the kids from high school that had classes in an isolated wing at school so they wouldn't mix in with the general population. You know they would, don't you dare deny it.

So, that's the theory. Just think about it, picture it in your minds eye, and get back to me. I'll be waiting drinking a juice box and eating animal crackers.